tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72006339031809803452024-03-06T01:23:04.057-07:00Mileage of a Mean MamaRunning fast and trying to keep up!The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.comBlogger176125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-32188330045782306932016-03-30T17:39:00.001-06:002016-03-30T17:39:53.722-06:00April Fools Dessert!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Just wanted to share a fun and super easy April Fools Dessert. It's POOP & PEE!!! My husband likes to change song lyrics whenever possible to poop and pee (yep, he is 7) so in his honor I made the above treat for our family.<br />
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The poop is rice krispie treat, hand shaped like poops and dipped in melted chocolate chips. The pee in lemonade. And for effect we served the poop on paper bags.<br />
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It was a huge hit, lots of laughs, tasty, and made from stuff I already had in the pantry!<br />
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Enjoy!The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-70204554694726976442016-02-01T15:04:00.001-07:002016-02-01T15:04:39.867-07:00What Eastern Oregon taught me about FergusonMy family of origin are all in agriculture. Dairy, beans, beets, peas, sheep, cattle, swine, hay, barely, and of course potatoes. <br />
<br />
My uncle recently sold his sheep to my brother in law. He was just too tired of fighting BLM and Forest Service and the Conservationists that swore his sheep were destroying nature.<br />
<br />
My brother in law has only been running sheep for a few years and is already so fed up with all the BullSh!t that he is dry lotting them. That's right folks, he is keeping 6,000 Ewes and their lambs (they average twins) on his ranch and feeding them twice daily. Instead of continuing the once symbiotic relationship of grazing open lands keeping wild grasses cut short and reducing fire hazard. You might think native herds could do this, but I assure you, most deer prefer the grass in my pasture not the wild stuff.<br />
<br />
My grandpa's farm consist of a dozen farrowing sheds, that have stood empty for almost 15 years, because it costs more to feed a pig than it costs to buy pork at the grocer. <br />
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I'm not sure if the nay-sayers think we should all become vegans or that wool is no longer a needed fiber when polyester from China is so much cheaper and apparently better on the environment *sarcasm in full swing*? But I do witness the frustration and desperation of my family members.<br />
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I'm also a Cop's wife. I have no words that adequately express the toll this profession takes on my husband, myself, and my children.<br />
<br />
A bunch of healthy middle age men with zero sex drive because they have nothing left to give. Their job takes everything out of them. And that is just the most straight forward unexpected example I can come up with.<br />
<br />
Last night he called to say good night, later than usual and then abruptly ended the conversation, because he had probable cause to stop a known dealer. A known dealer that is also armed. I assure you that my sleep consisted of tossing and turning from that call until he crawled into bed at 7 this morning, by which point I was already up with the children. So I'm going on a power nap that I caught between school drop off and library story time. (BTW he took a bunch of meth off the streets with that stop, high school parents may send their thanks)<br />
<br />
And so when my two worlds collided this past month, in Malheur/Harney Counties, Oregon. I was expectedly overwhelmed. My family still farms in Northern Nevada and Western Idaho and EVERYONE had an opinion.<br />
<br />
I tried to stay out of it. I tried to ignore the flood of one sided opinion on my news feeds. And then something unexpected happened. <br />
<br />
I started to understand the riots in Ferguson. I'm not talking about whether the cops in either shooting were good guys or bad guys, justified or not. I'm not trying to place innocence or blame. I am simply stating understanding.<br />
<br />
The root problem isn't about race, or regulations, or cops. Because most people are good, most regulations had good intent, and believe it or not, most cops are just trying to stay alive.<br />
<br />
The problem is that people are frustrated, oppressed, stagnate, and DESPERATE. They are so desperate for change that the thought of living is no longer the greatest priority. They just need to be heard. I don't have a solution. This problem is too wide spread and has so many faces. I'm just making an observation. <br />
We need to remember that in the end, every problem is about desperate people, people with names, faces, and families full of good intent. The internet allows us to become faceless bullies that exhibit little charity. Maybe part of the solution is for us all to practice a little bit more patience and understanding. You don't have to like it or agree with it. But put a face on that problem, and exhibit kindness for humanity.<br />
<br />The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-58734767118660780192015-11-16T15:23:00.001-07:002015-11-16T15:23:29.157-07:00There Must be Rules, but there is also RedemptionAnd Johnny Cash agrees with me.<br />
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His words are especially poignant considering his very public struggle with addiction, serving jail time, and his relationship with June started before he and his first wife divorced. The atonement is real people. You can break all the rules, screw up your family and life, and God will still love you, He will still redeem you.<br />
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"Thank God for redemption, or I wouldn't be here." - Johnny Cash<br />
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Enjoy the beauty of the Redemption of the Man in BlackThe Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-71824188942632268692015-11-16T12:33:00.000-07:002015-11-16T15:24:27.031-07:00No Mormon Baptism for LGBT ChildrenI have a friend, her sister and I were friends since middle school. She spent her teen and young adult years away
from our church. A late teenage pregnancy resulted in marriage. It
didn't last. The two parted ways, grew, matured, started stable
families of their own. When their son turned 8, he desired baptism.
His grandparents had been heavily involved in his up bringing (no one
complains about free child care!) and so he had been attending church
meetings since infancy. His mother was returning to church meetings as
well and supported her son's desire. The father was asked if his son could be baptized. He had no ill will
toward his ex-wife, her very loving and supportive parents, or the
chruch and gave permission.<br />
<br />
I have another friend, met her a few years ago. She is still learning the Gospel of Jesus Christ that is taught by our church. She was baptized as a child but spent her young adult years away from church activity and now desires to learn it as an adult. She was meeting with the missionaries to learn the gospel as it is meant to be taught, not the cultural church she knew as a teen in Utah.<br />
<br />
Her ex-husband and father of her children is not a member of the church. She left her family and support group in Utah when this man began beating her and her children. The sister missionaries she was learning with knew and understood the violence and resulting fear the children had for their father, and when the older daughter turned 8 they continued to love and teach but didn't bring up the issue of baptism. They understood her baptism would require permission from her father and contact with that man would result in pain not permission. But missionaries rotate through and the incoming missionaries, although aware of the history, refused to acknowledge the fear. They repeatedly encouraged the mother to seek permission from her ex for her daughter to receive the saving ordinance of baptism. "If only she had more faith!" After her daughter had multiple break downs for fear her mom would reach out to her dad this darling family stopped coming to church.<br />
<br />
A third friend, the dad is neither abusive nor Christian. The divorce terms state that the child could not receive religious ordinances of ANY kind until he was 18. This boy comes to church with his mom, her husband and his half sisters. He is plenty old enough now to choose not to come, but he does, because he believes it. He has watched all his cousins (and there are a lot) get baptized and he stands by and watches. He is only 18 months younger than two of his cousins, and he watches as they participate in the blessing and passing of our Sacrament (Communion) and prays his dad will change his mind. And now these cousins are on their missions. And he is left behind. <br />
<br />
<br />
Broken families are not uncommon, Requiring permission from both parents before minor is baptized is a sign of respect to the family. Morally and legally it is the right thing to do.<br />
<br />
The church respects that the family is primary to a child's upbringing and that the church is to serve as a support system. <br />
<br />
So it is with the recent addition to the Church Handbook of Instruction (note instruction not law) that children of a parent living in a same gender relationship may not recieve a Name and Blessing as an infant or be baptized until they are 18.<br />
<br />
The media and a relatively small number of others take issue with this. They say The LDS Church is punishing children for what LDS doctrine views as 'sins of the parents'. They say this instruction is anti-family.<br />
<br />
But lets face it, families can get messy. Especially when they are broken. My examples above were messy enough without bringing into fact that The LDS Church teaches that homosexual ACTS are a sin.<br />
<br />
Lets introduce your to another family. I am friends with their adult son.<br />
While he was on his mission his parent's marital issues, to which I am not privy reached a breaking point. The mom desired to leave the church. She never truly believed, she was always just there because it was Utah culture. The father, in an effort to save his marriage, formally left the church with his wife and their 6 minor children. As in all decisions made for the wrong reason, the marriage still failed. He was kicked out and she moved her girlfriend in.<br />
Now lets suppose that the father, who still believes the Gospel teachings of The LDS Church decides to come back to church. Can you even imagine the mess that would ensue if he decides to start trying to re-baptize his children? His two adult children would be supportive and excited to have their father and younger siblings start worshiping with them again. The mother and her soon to be wife, who has been helping to raise the younger children (but is down right frigid to the adult children) for a few years now would strongly opposed. These poor kids would get stuck in the middle. They love their older siblings, sibling in laws, father, and friends at church. They also love their mother and step mother who oppose the church. They have enough confusion having a dad and two moms while living in a very small and conservative town. Do we really need to add the additional confusion of committing at age 8 to a church, who teaches, their mom's who love them, are living in sin! I think NOT! We don't even want to make it an option for the biological parents to argue about.<br />
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To be clear, anyone is welcome to worship at a Mormon Church. The principle being taught is to LOVE all men regardless of their particular brand of sin. It does not say we have to condone the sin. Each person has the ability to choose how or if they interpret that command.<br />
<br />
I fully believe this instruction was meant to eliminate the option for families to use the church as a weapon against each other and to protect children from having <b>volunteer </b>teachers undermine (purposefully or ignorantly) what the child is being taught at home.<br />
A church is meant to bring people to Christ, therefore the LDS Church has rules and commandments, that if followed bring one closer to Christ. You do not need to be free of sin to come to church. You don't have to obey all the rules (I swear like a cop, and that is not Christlike). You don't have to be perfect. BUT the Gospel is perfect and it sets high standards to which we aspire.<br />
<br />
It is also important to note key doctrinal differences from the Mormon church and other churches.<br />
<br />
<b>1. Infant Name and Blessing:</b> While comparable to Christening, this ordinance places the child on official church roles. It is not uncommon for a baby to be blessed as an infant because the culture or grandparents want/expect it. The parents have no intention of raising their child in the church but their child is now a 'Child of Record' which means that every so often a church teacher or leader will come looking for the child to see if the family is interested in returning to church. It sounds annoying to the family, but its just as much work for the teacher or leader.<br />
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<b>2. Baptism isn't just about salvation: </b>Mormon Baptism is a saving ordinance. Just like baptism in any church. It is a formal acceptance of Christ as your Savior. It also makes you an official member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.<br />
<br />
A membership number is created and key milestones attached. Name,
birth date, address, languages spoken, baptismal date, disciplinary
action (yes we have it but only for serious sin), missions served,
temple ordinances, etc. This number is also used for record keeping of
tithes and offerings for tax purposes.<br />
It also means that for the <b>rest of this child's life </b>on
church records they will have other members assigned to watch their
back. It's called Home and Visting Teaching, and when done properly
provides every member of the church with a support system. This is
great if you want a Mormon support system, but if you don't, its pretty
annoying to everyone. You can tell them to go away, but that is still
one more visit the assigned teacher has to record and one more hassle
the assignee has to deal with. It's like ELLA ENCHANTED, her blessing
became a curse.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>3. We don't believe in Original Sin:</b> We believe Adam and Eve sinned when they partook of the fruit, we just don't believe we are guilty of that sin at birth. We believe that children are alive in Christ, that they have no need for baptism until they are of the age of accountability. Our church has set that age at 8. Kids that die before age 8, or never reach an intellectually age of 8, have no need for baptism. The Atonement of Christ encompasses them fully, because they are HIS precious children.<br />
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<a href="http://biblehub.com/matthew/19-14.htm" target="_blank"></a>
<i>"Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."</i><span class="p">" ~ </span><a href="http://biblehub.com/matthew/19-14.htm" target="_blank">(Matthew 19:14)</a><br />
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God is perfectly just. He can not condemn a person if they have NOT HAD the opportunity to be baptized. By forbidding a child from getting baptized until they are living on their own and mature enough to distinguish their parents choices from their own, the church is protecting them from condemnation. This may read as though a child is condemned for the sins of their parents, which we already discussed is contrary to the belief of our church. But it is incredibly difficult for a child to reject his parents, especially loving parents*.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">A small detour inference: </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">If gay parents can not naturally have children, it stands to reason that unwanted children will not exist in the LGBT family. A couple will not go through the red tape, hardship, and expense to adopt or use AI to become unwilling parents!</span></i></div>
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An example an be found in<a href="https://www.blogger.com/1Nephi%204:4-9" target="_blank"> 1Nephi 4:4-9</a><br />
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<div class="">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="4"> </a><span class="verse">4 </span>For the Lord God hath said that: Inasmuch
as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; and
inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my
presence.</div>
<div class="">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="5"> </a><span class="verse">5 </span>But behold, my sons and my daughters, I cannot go down to my grave save I should leave a blessing upon you; for behold,<b> I know that if ye are brought up in the way ye should go ye will not depart from it.</b></div>
<div class="">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="6"> </a><span class="verse">6 </span>Wherefore, if ye are cursed, behold, <b>I leave my blessing upon you, that the cursing may be taken from you and be answered upon the heads of your parents.</b></div>
<div class="">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="7"> </a><span class="verse">7 </span>Wherefore, because of my blessing the Lord God will not suffer that ye shall perish; wherefore, <b>he will be merciful unto you and unto your seed forever.</b></div>
<div class="">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="8"> </a><span class="verse">8 </span>And
it came to pass that after my father had made an end of speaking to the
sons and daughters of Laman, he caused the sons and daughters of Lemuel
to be brought before him.</div>
<div class="">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="9"> </a><span class="verse">9 </span>And
he spake unto them, saying: Behold, my sons and my daughters, who are
the sons and the daughters of my second son; behold I leave unto you the
same blessing which I left unto the sons and daughters of Laman;
wherefore, thou shalt not utterly be destroyed; but in the end thy seed
shall be blessed. (emphasis added)</div>
<div class="">
<br /></div>
<div class="">
Lehi, a Book of Mormon Prophet circa 600 BC, knew his older sons had wickedness and hatred in their hearts and were teaching their children wickedness and hatred. Before he died he blessed his grandchildren that God would show mercy to these children as they were never taught truth. In the end of the record we see that the descendants of these two sons are not destroyed, but the wicked descendants of the righteous sons are.</div>
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<div class="">
I go to church at The Church of Jesus Christ of latter Day saints not because the church and it's people are perfect, in fact a lot of them drive me insane with their hypocrisy and shallow ways. I continue to attend because I have read the Principles of the Gospel and have a strong belief that the teachings (not the people) are perfect.</div>
The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-68215882646932994442015-11-14T16:39:00.000-07:002015-11-14T16:39:48.622-07:00I WON'T Be Changing My FB Profile Picture in Support of FranceMy entire news feed on Facebook is filled with people changing their profile pictures to the French Flag overlay to show their support. I won't be hopping on that band wagon.<br />
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I have nothing against France. We hosted an exchange student from Paris when I was in elementary school. It was a wonderful experience. I spent 2 years of high school trying to learn the language.<br />
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Still not having the flag overlay.<br />
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For TWO reasons.<br />
1. It's too easy, its cliche, there is no way to know if people are doing it for sincere reasons or simply going along with a trend.<br />
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2. It needed to happen. For far too long Terrorism in all its forms (religious, political, racial) has been seen as a problem belonging only to certain countries or peoples. And always to the United States, because our country likes to fight for other's freedom/stick its nose in other's problems.<br />
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But FRANCE???<br />
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France? Really? They don't do anything. They keep their crap to themselves and history shows they won't even fight for their own crap.<br />
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And yet they were still victims of Terror. <br />
<br />
It's high time the people of the world jump off politics or views on gun control or religion and start unifying against Terrorists. It doesn't matter what the Terrorist's say they are fighting FOR because they are fighting <b>AGAINST</b> that which is good. <br />
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Christians, Jews, and Islam think its a war against God rooting back to Issac and Ishmael.<br />
African Americans think its a war against their race rooted in Slavery.<br />
Republicans think its a fight for democracy.<br />
Democrats think its a lie and a waste of money.<br />
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But it doesn't matter what each group thinks the war is about. <br />
Because it all boils down to Good vs Evil. <br />
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The Evil have no need to unify. It doesn't take unity to blow up a building. <br />
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Those fighting for good, no matter their race, religion, or political affiliation, need to humble themselves and work together against that which strives to destroy. The War on Terror is just that, a war to fight those who wish to destroy. Terrorists don't care what they destroy, Lives, Culture, Property, Land.<br />
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An attack on France shouts loud and clear that Terrorists do NOT care about anything but destruction. They don't care your race, religion, political affiliation, gun control laws, armed forces size, economic status, or location. They may claim to, but they don't.<br />
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And while they may not care our agenda, they do use our discord to their advantage. <br />
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An attack on France is the wake up call our world needed to realize this is no longer a problem belonging to any group, it's a problem that belongs to man kind. So wake up and fight back. Changing your FB picture to shout RED, WHITE, and BLUE means nothing if you continue infighting with those who look different, or believe different, or think different, but want the same end result. <br />
<br />
I am not going to change my picture. <br />
But I am going to stand for freedom and good, regardless of who I am standing next to.<br />
<br />
The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-13103775347805277022015-10-19T22:59:00.006-06:002015-10-19T22:59:50.408-06:00The Journey for Love<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>You know those stellar, awe inspiring light bulbs that come on around 2:36am? I had one of those, it was a great one, or so my sleepy self tells me. Time to see if this epiphany computes during daytime hours. Be warned, this is a train of thought realization, not an essay.</i></span></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Love</b></span> comes in many forms. The ones in my life are being <u>IN</u> love with a partner and having love <u>FOR</u> family, friends, mankind, IE: familial, platonic, and charitable love.<br />
<br />
<b>IN Love:</b><br />
To me you can love lots of people, but as a strict monogamist, you can only be IN love with one person.<br />
(If that person is lost, the heart can heal and be IN love again. If you let your self think you've fallen IN love with a second person at the same time then you are a selfish A-hole.)<br />
<br />
Last night, just before putting the children to bed, after long tiring days my hubby and I were unusually snippy with one another. Our snippiness is very predictable. It's triggered by sleep deprivation and hunger (we are original like that), but ONLY if the work/home dynamic is out of balance. Which it currently is.<br />
<br />
I was ticked, and even though he quickly realized it, and apologized, I was in no mood to kiss and make up. I had things that needed finished before I could sleep and he needed to head to bed for his work schedule (balance thing again, he's on call all the time).<br />
<br />
At o'dark thirty I could hear and feel the makings of a nightmare beside me. I, still tired and cranky, responded with less than my normal support. I flung an arm over him, as if that would somehow stop the terror.<br />
<br />
Then the voice in my head (it was the nice shoulder angel, thankfully) reminded me that even when cranky at him, I still LOVE this man even if I am currently not feeling all the hearts, flowers, and butterflies of being IN love with him.<br />
<br />
Here's the catch. I am the one in control of my feeling love or feeling in love with others. I asked myself, was my crankiness more important to me than my love for this man with whom I've shared everything for the last 15 years? The answer was a resounding no. Not only had I vowed to love and care for this man at all times, not just the good ones, but my love for him is greater than any vow. My love for and in him has become an entity unto itself.<br />
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<br />
This conclusion leads one to realize that love should be above hardship in other areas as well. We love our children, parents, siblings, friends and other family members, right? Christ teaches that the greatest commands are to Love God and Love Thy Neighbor.<br />
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Aside from my kids this whole love above hardships isn't working well for me. I have love of mankind in the form of respect and kindness to those I encounter. But lately it seems as though my circle of loved ones is shrinking.<br />
<br />
Is it because of me?<br />
Is it because of them?<br />
<br />
I preach accountability for ones life and choices. Don't like something, make a change, work to improve!<br />
<br />
I have been searching my life to find what I have done wrong to feel so isolated. Trying to figure out the same for some of my children with the similar struggle. Love, as I understand it, is rising above hardships. I do my very best, which sometimes isn't much, to share that love, but often it feels as though others have a different understanding.<br />
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Is it because we have become fully enveloped into the jaded cop lifestyle? I know we are fully enveloped because a month ago I dropped the F-Bomb in front of my kids, it was a serious wake up call. I didn't even start cussing till about 2-3 years ago, and even then it was NEVER that word! Maybe my language is offensive to others. Maybe the reason we are accused of being negative is because we live in a world where rape, drugs, abuse, death, and decay are very real. Regular every day people have a different standard by which they measure negativity vs reality.<br />
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<br />
About 2 years ago I made the decision to start living a completely authentic lifestyle. I'd been victim to the 'fake it till you make it" mentality for years and chronic illness combined with a difficult labor and lengthy recovery, overlapping with my parents divorce had exhausted my emotional reserves. I thought surely, if I stopped faking the "perfect Mormon life" my friends will see the real situation and help lift me in my time of need.<br />
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It didn't happen. A few people noticed I was around less, even fewer reached out. Most just bolted. I was so confused, where were my friends? Good Christians that promised God to love their fellow man?<br />
<br />
I am still figuring this out, trying to figure out what to change to make us more appealing in social circles. I realize I am no longer fun to be around, but I have nothing left to give. And now my choice to live a fully authentic and transparent lifestyle has trickled down. My children also live this same lifestyle and we are finding that their friends are also creating a distance.<br />
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It breaks my heart.<br />
<br />
I am working so hard to repair my broken soul, to recover the zeal I once had for life. To learn that it is okay to set boundaries and kick toxic people out of our lives. And while the break of those relationships is intentional, the loss of what should have been still hurts.<br />
<br />
As I try to find a balance between authenticity and being socially acceptable I am learning that maybe the reason they didn't step up to help their sister in need is because they are just a couple years behind me on the journey to self discovery. I think maybe their emotional reserves are on the low fuel light but they are afraid to drop their masks. To reveal ones true self is frightening. I am certain fear of rejection comes into play. Perhaps fear of failing societal expectations is overwhelming, keeping us all from enjoying authentic lives. They can't help me because they lack the same strength I seek.<br />
<br />
I share this with my kids that are struggling. Hoping it will encourage them to keep living the right life. The path less followed, the lonely path the leads to long term well being instead of short term satisfaction. I watched my mom give her all to stay on the path most traveled, and then one day the road caved in beneath her. That is not what I want in my future.<br />
<br />
And so this Love that should be an entity unto itself has been lost to societal expectations of what should be. It's tragic really. An entire culture living the beauty and majesty of a Masquerade Ball, and eventually the clock will strike midnight.<br />
<br />
My goal is to NOT be wearing a mask that night. My goal is to have become strong enough to help others pick up those pumpkin seeds and start again.The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-28434135792277942252015-10-12T22:01:00.003-06:002015-10-12T22:02:38.359-06:00The 5 Stages of Bedtime<b>1. </b> <b>Denial:</b> It can't possibly be bedtime already.<br />
See look how cute and pleasant I am being?!?<br />
See LOOK it's not dark yet!<br />
<br />
<b>2. </b> <b>Anger: </b>IT'S NOT BEDTIME!<br />
I HATE YOU!<br />
Usually followed by clenched jaw, wriggling, and refusal to get teeth brushed. <br />
<br />
<b>3.</b> <b>Bargaining:</b> "Mama, I love you! I sorry, I not hate you!"<br />
Followed by: another story, the need for the bathroom, a drink,<br />
a stufffie, the right blanket, requests for snuggles.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Depression:</b> Sobbing in bed (with a favorite blanket, a stuffie, and a parent).<br />
<br />
<b>5. Acceptance:</b> This stage is usually quick and involuntary. The involuntary nature of this stage<br />
means we are doomed to repeat all 5 steps tomorrow night.<br />
<br />
Good Luck Parents. The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-10473798883984768692015-10-08T12:30:00.001-06:002015-10-08T12:34:20.757-06:00Race or CultureI love when TK's little girlfriends come for playdates, having girl conversation is a welcome change.<br />
But yesterday as we taxi'd around this sweet little girl told me,<br />
<br />
"You look like my mom!"<br />
<br />
and I don't so I asked, "Oh, because we have the same color hair?"<br />
<br />
"No, same color skin."<br />
<br />
and I was befuddled, because while I have many of times noticed her beautiful dark smooth skin and silky black hair, it never dawned on me that she wasn't a white girl like me.<br />
<br />
Her dad is some conglomerate of dark complected races, Asian, Polynesian, African, some Caucasian, not really sure, never ever mattered.<br />
<br />
<br />
For the first time since knowing her family (since before her birth) I realized they were considered a biracial family. I'd never noticed because they were just another family, just like ours, working hard, raising good kids, striving towards the American Dream.<br />
<br />
I'm not one of those people who claim to be color blind. I noticed he wasn't white, I noticed that when our kids swim together mine get sunblock every 80 minutes and their kids are like, whats sun block?<br />
<br />
We have have co-worker, he's black (our racial demographic lacks diversity), grew up in LA, he can never remember my first name so he calls me Homegirl. The man has soul, you can tell by the way he walks and talks. He is my black friend, his description not mine, I call him Homeboy and we laugh.<br />
<br />
<br />
And so I had this thought. Maybe its not Race that causes all the problems and wars and violence and hate. Maybe its culture.<br />
<br />
Homeboy's race is very obvious to me because he lives the culture stereo typical to his race.<br />
Friends dad's race has never even been conscience to me because he lives the same boring life style we live.<br />
<br />
Neither Homeboy's culture nor the culture collectively lived by my family and our friends is superior, it just creates differences, but no one is defensive or insecure of those differences so no problems arise. We all stand around the same BBQ with a Coke or Beer, whatever our choice, and laugh about life and good food.<br />
<br />
It's when the cultures become so enmeshed into a community that it breeds oneness of thought, insecurieties, envy, defensivness, and hate that it becomes a problem.<br />
<br />
I feel its important to focus on the real issue here. <b>People are the problem</b>, regardless of color, gender, or socio economic status. Aholes and Kindness do no discriminate, you can find them everywhere.<br />
<br />
Admittedly I am a white girl from a small white town, and probably have no business even talking about this subject, but I've learned, and I want to remember this.<br />
<br />
<img src="https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/10325307_10152878010571840_7376925196789313884_n.jpg?oh=cec43bb3ac6ec8a6055d999f8b968031&oe=569B649F" /> <br />
<br />The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-27653910066600217232015-10-08T11:55:00.002-06:002015-10-08T11:56:23.026-06:00Outside<div style="text-align: center;">
Outside Exploring.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's irrigation day, getting feet wet, splashing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Mama Mama we find a worm.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a baby worm, see!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hold it too?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Is it a Chicken snack?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
No, a pet</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pinky</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Brother wants to keep it</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but him will miss hims family</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Keep it Keep it</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
in a jar!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Play for a time</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
then let him go.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pinky have a mouths?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pinky have eyes?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How him eat?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Him's mouth talk?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Mama Mama</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
look at all the birds</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
flying</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Look Pinky</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
at the birds</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Him not have glasses </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
held high </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
better view</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Leaves</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bed for Pinky</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
all curled up</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Him warm now</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
feel</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Leaves</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Blanket for Pinky</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Him cozy</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Time for Pinky to go home</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
over in the grass</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and mud</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
safe from the ducks.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bye Bye Pinky</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Leaves</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Another blanket for Pinky</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Runs back</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Gently </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
another leaf.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Skips back </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
all smiles</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
tall grass </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Okay Mama. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-37255266254513625302015-10-08T09:17:00.002-06:002015-10-08T09:17:38.755-06:00Running AgainI've started running again. And getting back in shape is really hard! <br />
<br />
I am running a 5k this weekend. Just a fun one, with my sister, who has a new baby.<br />
My expectations for myself are to beat her and finish the race, but mostly beat her. High standards.<br />
<br />
But I want a starting point. And this will give me that. I could just time myself for a 5k, but if there are people watching I'll try a bit harder.<br />
<br />
<br />The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-53154322012603792702015-10-08T09:02:00.002-06:002015-10-08T09:02:57.611-06:00"Mama, my friend said CRAP is a bad word"This morning's breakfast conversation detailed the difference between Good, Neutral, Inappropriate, and Bad words.<br />
<br />
For example: You hammer the wrong nail.<br />
<br />
Good: Ouch!<br />
Neutral: Dangit/Darnit<br />
Inappropriate: Damn<br />
Bad: Son of a B*!@$<br />
<br />
Now depending on your audience the level of offense will vary. In my hometown, a very rural farming community, the only cuss word starts with an 'F'. Sh*! is poop and B*!@$ is a dog. Damn and Hell are regular speech.<br />
<br />
When hubby is on duty, unless he uses the F word as every part of speech his audience doesn't understand that he is serious.<br />
<br />
But in the school system, its best to stick with Good and Neutral.<br />
<br />
Cheers!The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-28183023000629041022015-10-08T08:41:00.001-06:002015-10-08T09:13:06.653-06:00"Skinny Girl" ProblemsSo I'm 'naturally thin' or so I've been told.<br />
I also spent from age 8 to age 20 as a competitive runner with a mother who preached healthy eating. Except homemade brownies, those somehow made the cut. <br />
Both my grandmothers struggle with weight as do 4 of my 5 aunts, and the 5th is thin for unhealthy reasons. <br />
<br />
People ask, "How do you stay so thin?" or "I'd never guess you had 5 kids, you are so skinny!"<br />
<br />
and I shrug and say "I guess I just have good genetics".<br />
<br />
But then I go to a family reunion and the ONLY thin women in the room are me, my sisters, and some in-laws. So maybe, just maybe I don't have good genetics. Maybe my "thin-ness" has more to do with lifestyle!<br />
<br />
And lets be clear. I am not super skinny. I am tall and clothes hide a multitude of sins (ie: Swedish Fish, Gummy Savers, chocolate) I feel best when I weigh in around 140lbs and currently am just above 150.<br />
<br />
I have 10 lbs I'd like to lose, just like every other woman, problem is, I'm not allowed to talk about it. I don't bring it up just to bring it up, but when women are talking about a new workout program, I'll inquire and get the response,<br />
"Why do you need to worry about that? You're naturally skinny!"<br />
<br />
I don't know, maybe because I feel better 10 lbs lighter, my clothes fit better, I don't like how it feels running with the extra weight, or that it hurts when my love handles jiggle.<br />
Maybe because my mom has osteoporosis and weight bearing exercise helps prevent that?<br />
Or my back is constantly hurting because my abs were torn to shreds by 5 pregnancies?<br />
Or i don't want to be a broken old person?<br />
<br />
But my frustrations get a bit complex because I am also hypoglycemic and have lots of food sensitivities. Which means I have to eat but there is very little I can eat. <br />
<br />
And if I want to work out when hubby is at work its best to get it done before the kids wake up, but doing a PiYo workout (my favorite home workout) without first eating breakfast leads to shaking and blurred vision and the occasional black outs.<br />
<br />
And since my only breakfast options are smoothies and oatmeal and my blender wakes the kids up I eat a lot of oatmeal... and it doesn't matter how you spruce it up, oatmeal 5 days a week is still oatmeal 5 days a week.<br />
<br />
So next time in casual conversation, when weight or working out or declining desert comes up, please don't roll your eyes or make snide comments about how I can afford the calories. Because I can afford the calories, and I want the calories, but I CAN'T eat the food attached to the calories.<br />
<br />
If you continue to do so I might just mention that your 20-100 extra lbs could be lost the same way I keep my weight at target. Self Control and Exercise.<br />
<br />
Cheers!The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-83077619287280716882015-09-26T00:43:00.000-06:002015-09-26T00:43:23.945-06:00What did YOU do all day?What did you DO all day?<br />
<br />
For the record, it is me asking myself this question, never ever my husband. He isn't stupid, plus he pulls his weight around here so he knows.<br />
<br />
But for my own purposes I have decided to record the ways I spent my time that have no physical evidence left behind. <br />
For example, doing laundry, doesn't count, people notice when there are no clean towels.<br />
<br />
Cancelled a play date due to a sick sibling<br />
Called and excused sick kid from school<br />
Made an appointment for sick kid to see allergist<br />
Left a message to make an appointment for broken kid to see orthopedist<br />
"Lift up you head" to watch as toddler showed me a trick that involved spitting rock ice into a cup^5<br />
Helped broken kid get dressed and re bandaged (this may seem like physical evidence, but people notice if he is in his sling and dressed, not that it has been redone)<br />
Rescheduled my doctors appointment <br />
Researched cheapest pharmacy and had Rx transferred there.<br />
Admired toddler coloring<br />
Tried to pick up an Rx, waited on hold for 20 minutes while they found it.<br />
Received a visitor.<br />
Arranged details for a service project with my co-cordinators<br />
Went to Pharmacy 3 times...for one Rx, if others would do their job that'd be great.<br />
Recorded (tweeted) multiple milestones and cute things my kids say, cause one day they're going to ask.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-53061776396415052782015-08-16T23:59:00.000-06:002015-08-16T23:59:22.545-06:00Favorite Movies Favorite Lines<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/SyQya5rsRGI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
"I wish you were fully 42 and more than unusually plain for your age"<br />
- Gwendolyn, 'The Importance of Being Earnest'<br />
<br />
<br />
"I do not know whether there is anything peculiarly exciting in the air
of this particular part of Hertfordshire, but the number of engagements
that go on seems to me considerably above the proper average that
statistics have laid down for our guidance."<br />
- Lady Bracknell, 'The Importance of Being Earnest'<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">If you have yet to watch or read Oscar Wilde's 'The Importance of Being Earnest' I highly recommend it. I loved the play when we read it in high school and when I learned there was a movie I found it and watched it until the VHS tape broke, as in the black film stuff inside actually wore out and snapped. Probably about the singing scene. I could have almost the entire play in this post. If you want to watch it it's on Netflix and on YouTube, though I am not sure the later is a legal copy. You can read it<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/world/readfile?fk_files=3274130&pageno=3" target="_blank"> here.</a></span></i><br />
<br />
<br />
"What was God thinking?!!?"<br />
- Grace 'Return to Me'<br />
<br />
"Grace has Bob's dead wife's heart!"<br />
- Megan, 'Return to Me'<br />
"I love our friends, we say stuff like, "we're gonna douse you in ant pheromones" and they're like "okay", They're so cool!" <br />
-Phineas & Ferb (not a movie, but a dang funny cartoon)<br />
<br />
"Have fun storming the castle"<br />
-Miracle Max, 'The Princess Bride' <br />
<br />
"When did Brand get braces?"<br />
- Andy, 'The Goonies'<br />
<br />
"It's Okay! When I was on the bus I found a nickle! I wish I had pockets." (or as TK says, "pocks!")<br />
-Mike Wosaski, 'Monster's University'<br />
<span id="goog_167260737"></span><span id="goog_167260738"></span><br />
<br />
<br />The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-8689634336594218912015-08-16T23:24:00.003-06:002015-08-16T23:24:51.778-06:00Toddler TeethI took my oldest to this awful "Pediatric Dentist" where she looked over her teeth, pronounced them to be lovely,<br />
only upon my mention of possible decay between the front two teeth, (lack of flossing, my bad), she noticed and decided both front teeth needed to be crowned, CROWNED, she wanted to crown what she hadn't even noticed!<br />
<br />
She then proceeded to lecture me about the importance of flossing my toddler's teeth. <br />
<br />
"I know" I responded, "but some times I am just too tired to fight her about it."<br />
<br />
She continues. If you will fight her about her clothes being presentable surely you should fight her about her teeth. It's much more important. <br />
<br />
I looked at my darling two year old, sitting in the chair that had been fun, her gums now bleeding from a brushing? Her hair was combed, her shirt didn't match her shorts and she was wearing florescent green socks pulled up to her knees, under her white floral sandals. It was 2004, too late for the fluorescent rave of the 80's and too soon for the return in 2010's. It was also August, in OMAHA! socks were her own fashion statement.<br />
<br />
I scooped up my beautiful little girl and walked out, needless to say we never returned. And those teeth, they never required treatment.<br />
<br />
People like her make me wonder. Have they ever brushed and flossed the teeth of a ticked off toddler? Sure, every so often in the dental chair, where the child is so overstimulated they can't even imagine a protest. But at the end of a long tired day, night after night. Have they every brushed a toddlers teeth?<br />
<br />
My guess is they haven't. If they had they wouldn't act like its no big deal. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Cause every parent wants to stick their fat fingers in a toddler's tiny mouth, holding them still by sitting on their chest, head locked between their knees, working around an octopus tongue and tentacle lips, brushing and flossing, hoping not to jab tender mouth material and all the while hoping not to get bit.</span></div>
<br />
The dentists I choose are the ones that high five me for even trying. The ones that compliment everything I am doing right. Offering me flossing sticks so I can reach those tiny back spaces. The world is down on moms enough. I want a dentist (and doctor, and orthodontist, and...) that is going to high five me simply because I am doing the very best I can. And it doesn't hurt if he selfishly devours the thank you treats we drop at his office, and then of course, brushes extra careful that night.The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-5898936556201287272015-08-16T01:52:00.002-06:002015-08-16T01:54:49.958-06:00Of Excuses, Justifications, Explanations, and Desire for ApprovalCome join my family as they try a new food. You will quickly discover that the more the kids talk about LOVING the new food the less they actually like it. In an effort to hide their disdain they talk about how wonderful it is. I think they just don't want to offend.<br />
<br />
After the 5th time of being told how yummy something is I transport the item to the trash to the relief of my darlings. If they actually like it their mouths will be so full of it that they can't talk.<br />
<br />
I have noticed as of late that similar is true of people making bad decisions.<br />
<br />
If you make a decision for the right reason, you won't have any need to justify or explain why you chose what you chose. You should be able to to articulate WHY you acted the way you acted, but you should not feel compelled to justify that to anyone other than yourself (and your parents if you still live at home).<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="http://www.mememaker.net/static/images/memes/3373562.jpg" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Have you noticed when a person is making a bad decision, or a neutral decision for the wrong reason that they will go on and on about why they are doing that, or why it's ok in this situation, and how they JUST DON'T CARE what others think?<br />
<br />
<br />
"I decided to do this and I don't care what others think, because reasons A-Z!!"<br />
<br />
all the while they justify and explain away the decision I am thinking, "Um, I don't care, you can do what ya want" and they just keep on justifying and I just start laughing on the inside because if they truly don't care, why are they justifying their decision to me? to ME??? who has absolutely no authority over their life. If they don't care why are they so eager to earn my approval?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="http://treasure.diylol.com/uploads/post/image/324822/resized_creepy-willy-wonka-meme-generator-oh-you-think-i-care-about-what-i-know-about-you-i-don-t-f4fe4b.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Examples:</b></span><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>"It's okay for Mormon's to be addicted to caffeine because caffeine isn't specifically named in the Word of Wisdom, and I only drink like 4 a week, so I'm not really addicted, I mean I just drink it for migraines so its medicinal so its okay."</i></b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"My counselor said it was okay that I divorced my spouse and <strike>abandoned</strike> left my kids because I have the right to be happy and to pursue my own goals and happiness in life and I am a strong person and I have a lot more to contribute to life, I have talents I want to develop and I am still a good person, its not like I left them for a lover, or alcohol, and I pay child support so its okay that I'm not there to tuck my kids in at night"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>"I know my outfit isn't really appropriate for the dress code, but my boobs and butt are covered, as long as I hold my skirt when I lean over, and its like really hot and the sweat makes my clothes stick to me and I don't care what people think, I am proud of my choices to do whats right for my comfort, and I am not even going to pretend to be ashamed" </i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<i>"Yah, so I got drunk, but its totally cool because I am 18 and I made sure my boyfriend stayed sober so he would make sure I didn't choke if I puked, and I am a good kid, I have NEVER ever done anything rebellious in my life and I just wanted to live a little and I didn't drive, so its okay"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>"I am gonna stay here and go to community college because I can live at home and save money and I really like my job and sure I got a great scholarship to an amazing school, but this unaccredited community college is a good school too, and a degree is a degree, and ...." when the sad reality is they are scared to move away from home. </i></b></div>
<br />
SO to my children and the 3 other people that might actually read this post,<br />
<br />
When making a decision, if that decision can not stand on its own, I say, think again.<br />
<br />
If you do not know why you made a decision, I say, think again.<br />
<br />
If you make a choice, make it with knowledge, not fear.<br />
<br />
If you can not stand firm in your choice, aloof from naysayers, I say, think again.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
We are given minds, use them.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We are given will, stand strong.</div>
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We are given agency, be wise.</div>
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PS... That first example is me!</div>
The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-42328837489104454452015-06-08T14:43:00.001-06:002015-06-08T14:43:35.544-06:00Depression - My BattleNot going to dwell much on this today. Just wanted to record it for my own purposes.<br />
<br />
I battle depression. I am neither proud nor ashamed of this confession. <br />
<br />
A few of my girlfriends (independent of each other) posted this song recently, as a post divorce anthem. I listened to it. I have an amazing marriage, so I couldn't understand why it spoke to me.<br />
<br />
Then I realzied the line, "Take back my life" doesn't just apply to the horrors and loss of divorce.<br />
<br />
It applies to me. I am taking my life back from depression.<br />
I am finding new weapons of defense and I will beat this.<br />
<br />
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The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-998853406968302342015-05-20T21:44:00.000-06:002015-08-16T01:06:06.831-06:00How am I suppose to Know? May I ask?I admit it, I judge people, I do, I judge if they are kind and moral.<br />
I also judge the parents of children with a perpetual case of lice. I will also help you nit pick. <br />
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Things I don't judge? </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Your color, socioeconomic status, job, marital status, gender identification,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
religion, or sexual orientation.</div>
<br />
<br />
This post will address a question I have of the LGBT Community,<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How am I suppose to know?</div>
<br />
It is an honest question coming from a boring white girl from small town America. I have similar questions for other communities. I am simply trying to learn. But because topics are so hot and political I don't know who to ask.<br />
I can't ask my brother in law because HE is still living the 'don't ask, don't tell' option with us.<br />
I can't ask my older cousin as his heart is so tender I could never risk hurting it by my ignorance.<br />
I won't ask my younger cousin because he crude and offensive, I want a sincere conversation of mutual respect and learning. <span style="font-size: x-small;"> (I stopped trusting his opinion on life when he posted pictures of CuntCakes with the caption LOL.)</span><br />
<br />
Now this same cousin is demanding that people address them with gender neutral pronouns as gender specific pronouns offend them. That's right people, cuntcakes are okay, but using the term 'he' in reference to a male who may or may not identify as male is offensive. But I digress, this post is about me learning appropriate respectful terms.<br />
<br />
There are physical males/females who identify with the <b>male</b> gender.<br />
There are physical males/females who identify with the<b> female</b> gender.<br />
There are physical males/females who identify with <b>neither</b> gender. <br />
<br />
To further complicate things, any of these physical males/females may find themselves:<br />
attracted to their same physical gender and identify as gay or straight<br />
or the opposite physical gender and identify as straight or gay,<br />
or transgender and identify as...?<br />
<br />
I am confused! I don't even know if the above information is correct. It's been gleaned in snatches and compiled in effort to gain some resemblance of understanding. <br />
<br />
There are those in the LGBT community that prefer the 'they, them, their' pronouns, while others prefer the 'Ze' pronoun. I personally think 'Te' or the Old English 'Thee' make excellent options.<br />
<br />
If I use the wrong pronoun I am offensive, but I can't ask because that is rude. So I ask again...<br />
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<b>HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>and furthermore, since I don't know, is there an appropriate way that</b></div>
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<b> I may ask you for your specific preference? </b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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The LGBT Community is more accepted now than ever before. Hundreds of years of fighting, they have moved from hidden/non existent, to being killed, to being offended because the general population doesn't use their preferred pronoun. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I am curious as to why members of this community, a community that is successfully redefining gender, are so worried about fitting into existing vernacular. Texting and social media invent new words weekly, why don't they? </div>
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<br /></div>
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Instead of my cousin throwing a temper tantrum </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(my cousin's post was basically the 27 yo version of yelling "It's not Fair" because he got the wrong color of lollipop)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">They should invest that energy and creativity into<b> </b></span>creating their own gender neutral jargon and vernacular. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Once that is established please publish the results so the rest of us can learn and respect thy culture. You are a powerful and creative generation. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Knowledge is Power.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please use your Power to spread Knowledge.</div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>And one more thing. </b></div>
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<b> Please remember that most of us on the 'outside' don't want to offend,</b></div>
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<b> we simply have never been taught.</b></div>
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This story came to mind as I was typing this<b>.</b></div>
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Two cultures, with gross preconceived notions and judgements, that become a family. <b><br /></b></div>
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<br />The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-66242458048377432032015-04-26T20:39:00.000-06:002015-04-27T10:07:27.568-06:00Cows, Horses, and Half Naked GirlsI recently heard a story about a horse.<br />
BONUS it's even a TRUE story.<br />
<br />
There was horse, a jumper, beloved by it's owner. She was devastated when the horse came up lame, dismissed by the elite jumping community. This woman loved her horse, they'd been a team for years and so she sought out the best in the field to help her, a skilled farrier who had faith in this team. He worked with the horse and rider. The team soon returned to competition and eventually the rider was offered over 6 million dollars for her "lame" jumper.<br />
The offer was declined and the pair are preparing for Rio 2016<br />
<br />
Another less exciting, but just as true story.<br />
<br />
My husband gets to herd cattle off the highway on a monthly basis. Definitely the best use of his time as a Peace Officer. Cows are always getting out. It's the second excuse for why we don't have a cow. The first is cost, the second is, our fencing isn't secure enough. So we lease our pasture to horses. <br />
<br />
Cattle are ALWAYS trying to get out. It doesn't really matter how much space they have, they press against the fencing, always pushing the boundaries.<br />
<br />
Cattle are not easily contained. Cattle pasture has fence post, 2x4 panel, with a barbed wire at the top and bottom. They still push against that fence post till it topples and then go wondering aimlessly, inevitably ending up on the nearest highway where they become a half ton liability. <br />
<br />
Horses are easily contained. Horse pasture can be as little as a post and line. Our neighbor's have race horses. The top rail of their fence came loose and fell off. The middle rail was shorter than the horses knee and yet the horse never got out. It respected that the boundary. That boundary is where he was placed by his master and where his master returns to provide care, food, and water.<br />
<br />
And so it is when teaching our youth the standards God has set in place for their protection. These boundaries are set, by God, for their own protection and safety. It being Prom season the passage Genesis 3:21 comes to mind, "The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them."<br />
<span class="p"><br /></span>
<span class="p">Clothing was created by God to clothe the naked body, to cover it, to keep it sacred. God created our body as the temple for our divine Spirit. The young women, daughter's of a King, God's supreme creation are parading their temples, half naked, in effort to attract the eye of some boy who very likely does not cherish them. Why do our girls feel the need to degrade themselves in order to attract attention. Why do our girls not feel precious and cherished enough that their confidence allows them to cover their temple, to keep their body sacred unto themselves until she covenants to cleave unto a son of God who cherishes her as God cherishes her?<br /> More importantly why are parent's not teaching their daughters to have enough respect for themselves? These prom photos are posted all over social media with parent's standing next to their half naked daughter, smiling, so happy that they are sending their prized possession off to be valued only for the shortness of her hemline, the deepness of her neck line, the number of cutouts on her back? These father's need to stand up, be patriarchs, protect their daughter, cherish her, teach her that her value comes from a Divine creation, not from the bling on her chest.</span><br />
<span class="p"><br /></span>
<span class="p">Our daughters need to learn that their very essence is divine. That they should seek to follow their Master not push the very boundaries He created to keep them safe. God created women, we are His divine and most valued work. He also clothed us so that our divinity is not diminished by the natural being.</span><br />
<span class="p"><br /></span>
<span class="p">We need to teach our girls that boundaries are created as a source of safety. The horse is revered around the world, the cow is only revered in India (where they look half starved). Please, let us remind our girls that like the majestic horse, there is no need to push the limits created to keep them safe, that respecting them is to respect the innate superiority of our creation. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="p">Cattle are used primarily as a source of food, when judged they are shaved and posed to flaunt their body so as to receive a good price for their ability to provide a high quality cut of <b>meat</b>. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="p">Horses
are prized and valued for their beauty, grace, skill, speed and intelligence.
They play integral roles in history, art, sport, and are idealized as
romantic transportation by little girls everywhere.</span><br />
<span class="p"><br /></span>
<span class="p">And so I ask you, </span><br />
<br />
<span class="p">Is your daughter, sister, niece a creation only to be paraded for her structure, frame, and how she'd taste with a good sauce? </span><br />
<span class="p">Or is she a divine creation valued for her innate beauty and goodness? Prided in her ability to successfully bridge history with her plethora of natural talents?</span><br />
<span class="p"><br /></span>
<span class="p">In sum...</span><br />
<span class="p">When was the last time you saw a cow in the Olympics?</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="p">For your viewing pleasure, a woman who has experienced the success of respecting boundaries. Laura Sumrall of Texas A&M. </span><br />
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The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-72421693126523553942015-04-26T15:51:00.002-06:002015-04-26T15:51:54.621-06:00Dear Starburst<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
When digging through the remains of last night's 'roast anything sweet that you can find in the house over the fire pit' festivities I found the above, along with a few half eaten Hershey's bar. No Cherry, no Strawberry, No Dove, and no licorice. In sum I found disappointment. Nobody likes the Orange, and even fewer like the Lemon, so stick with Strawberry and Cherry, and while your at it bring back the Starburst's Twists, preferably the All Berry variety (they got me through my first pregnancy, my appreciation).<br />
<br />
Thanks,<br />
The Mean MamaThe Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-13386193478558854032015-04-17T10:02:00.001-06:002015-08-16T23:28:28.777-06:00Do you Wanna?When toddlers are cranky about stopping play to have a stinky changed I often play the "Do you Wanna" game. It started years ago when our oldest, in tantrum mode, responded with an emphatic NO to every thing we asked.<br />
<br />
Do you want to change your diaper?<br />
Do you want to have a snack?<br />
Do you want to watch Monkey George?<br />
<br />
After a series of NO's!<br />
<br />
My husband asked,<br />
Do you want us to pay for college?<br />
Do you want us to buy you a car when you turn 16?<br />
<br />
We've since asked all our children that, and have video evidence, so we are off the hook for that.<br />
<br />
Eventually if the question is inviting enough they stop crying, catch their breath and accept.<br />
<br />
It usually involves a shocked, "is that an option?" expression and candy.<br />
I rarely deliver on the candy, they usually move on to the next topic and by the time the conversation is over they have forgotten.<br />
Besides, that would be rewarding bad behavior, and we don't want to do that.<br />
<br />
<br />
Yesterday's session I was getting desperate. I couldn't offer candy because TL knows there is still Easter leftovers stashed in the pantry. He caught me sneaking it. He has a memory far too advanced for my good.<br />
<br />
I asked,<br />
<span style="color: red;">Do you wanna go live with the penguins at the zoo?</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">Gasp, tear wipe, YES!</span><br />
<span style="color: red;"> But you might get cold.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">I wear a jacket.</span><br />
<span style="color: red;"> But you don't know how to swim.</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">I swim!</span><br />
<span style="color: red;">But not in the deep end....</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">I big I SWIM!</span><br />
<span style="color: red;"> How about with the Monkeys?</span> <span style="color: purple;">(just as sissy walks by)</span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">He starts a monkey impression </span><br />
<a href="http://mileageofameanmama.blogspot.com/2014/12/veggi-tales-vs-curious-george.html" target="_blank"> "He's not a monkey He's an Ape."</a><br />
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And that folks is how our dorky family rolls.The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-14273463396986862002015-04-16T09:00:00.002-06:002015-04-16T09:00:44.817-06:00I think she'll be checking her own pockets from now onThis morning, checking pants pockets before the wash. Found some good old fashion hand written notes. Perk of not having a cell phone. In her writing I read, <b>"we kissed!"</b> I am not in denial that this is a very real possibility. She is 12, but barely admits having a crush on a boy. <br />
<br />
And then the real insult...she hadn't told me. <br />
<br />
I woke her sick head up and demanded an explanation,<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;">Wake up! There is a note, in your writing that says "we kissed"</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">Half asleep: it was a dream. (her eye rolling was somehow vocal)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;">Oh, cause if you had a real first kiss and didn't tell me you'd be S.O.L</span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;">I know Mom (rolls over, pulls cover over her head, resumes sick sleep)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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That was a close call. I am so not ready for this.</div>
The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-74972578345302271002015-04-07T23:41:00.000-06:002015-08-16T23:48:01.088-06:00Even on my WORST day, I am still MY Child's BEST ParentToday I was at Home Depot with my toddler and preschooler. I try to keep them contained, and they honestly are VERY well behaved children. They are also very adventurous and independent, sometimes they go opposite directions.<br />
<br />
All mother's know how effective shopping cart seat belts are on a wiggly toddler. My options were to let TL wonder around along side me or have him fighting to crawl out of the cart. Knowing his track record for getting out of even the tightest seat belt I let him walk along side. I made it to aisle 17 with TK, TL stopped at aisle 16 to look around, so I stayed in the main corridor and glanced down aisle 17 looking at prices. <br />
<br />
After what seemed to be 2.3 minutes (meaning it was more like 52 seconds) I noticed TL hadn't caught up, I called for TK and backtracked down isle 16 to fetch TL. He wasn't there. The isle was long and he was gone. That moment of panic when from up above I heard his tiny voice. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>"look at me mama!! I climb!"</b></span></div>
<br />
And there he was at the top of a stairwell, the rail above his head, and no balusters. The stairs were tall. The landing at the top was well above my outstretched arms. He was excited and starting to jump, so very close to the edge. I knew I had to keep my cool. <br />
<br />
"WOW!! you did a great job climbing. Can you show mama how you can climb down?"<br />
<br />
and I waited at the bottom of the stairs, my calm demeanor hiding my panic.<br />
<br />
He started down the top step just as the manager starts rushing my way.<br />
<br />
I gave him a nervous smile, and said, <b>lets stay calm so he'll walk down safely.</b><br />
<br />
<i>He tries to shove past me to climb the stairs. </i><br />
<br />
I moved, using my entire frame to prevent him from reaching the stairs. My fear starts to elevate as I now have to divide my attention from <b>my son</b>, who <b>has since retreated back to the edge of the landing</b>, and this idiot who thinks his stores rules are somehow still on the playbook.<br />
<br />
"If you touch these stairs he will fright and fall back."<br />
<br />
He ignores me and pushes to move past me. I stop him again. <br />
<br />
"If you touch these stairs he will fall, I don't give a damn about your stores liability, I care about my son. He falls this store closes. Don't touch the stairs."<br />
<br />
He backs from a threat to a hover.<br />
<br />
Left alone my cutie climbs down the stairs. I snatch him up and hug him. Tell him what a good job he did climbing. I load both my boys into the cart and walk past the jerk without a second glance.<br />
<br />
I reach the check out station, unload a few hundred dollars worth of remodel material, and walked out the door.<br />
<br />
I loaded my boys into their seats, sat in mine and sobbed until the adrenaline left so I could drive.<br />
<br />
We have since spent a couple thousand at Lowe's. I will never return to that store, not as long as that A-hole is in charge.<br />
<br />
Because even on my WORST day, my actions are out of love, and yours are for power. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-87581033328306975182015-03-23T10:07:00.002-06:002015-03-23T10:07:38.731-06:00Pee in the PottyBecause this event needs to be documented.<br />
<br />
TL kept grabbing at his diaper saying "poop", I couldn't smell anything so I just smiled at him. He kept insisting so I asked if he needed to poop in the potty. He said yes, so we ran down the hall to the bathroom (we are way behind in our bathroom rebuild, having a job where you are on call 24/7 even during 'vacation' slows progress), it is full of 3 siblings, and kept running to my bathroom. For 12 minutes he altered between standing on the stool to pee, sitting on the seat to do either, standing on the floor trying to reach, one foot on the stool, one foot off. At first he was all laughing and giggling, then we grew a bit bored, then he started announcing "its coming mama! Its COMING!" on repeat for 3 minutes. Just as I went to grab him, re-diaper him and put him to bed the tinkle sound came. His face lit up! He finished, ran from the room, naked around the house, yelling, "Everybody come see!! I pee! I PEE!!!"<br />
#bigboyThe Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7200633903180980345.post-22521258232737949732015-03-17T13:21:00.000-06:002015-03-17T20:29:49.524-06:00Defining Beautiful<br />
<br />
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<br />
I am driving home from my holistic practitioners office, we'd worked through some EMDR for some pent up negative experiences with important people in my life and since he is a friend our ours we talked more about needing to release control and enjoy creative flexibility when life throws us curves. My life is often unpredictable as I have 7 schedules to work around, and even the best laid plans are frequently disrupted by a SWAT call out.<br />
<br />
As I am driving down my road I think to myself, wouldn't it be a wonderful symbolic moment if the mare in the neighboring pasture has her baby today? Birth, new beginnings, fresh starts. I have been so anxious watching this mama struggle and labor for the last few days. She was so heavy with foal that she struggled to walk.<br />
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As her favorite spot in the pasture came to view I noticed she wasn't there, I scanned the rest of her field quickly before coming back to her favorite spot, she was there, she was just laying down! and the front hooves were visible through the amniotic sac.<br />
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I stopped the car, jumped out, went to check on her, she looked at me with that look that any woman who has every given birth can recognize. I stroked her head through the fence. "you are doing a good job mama, keep it up" I fumbled for my phone, hands trembling to text the owner, but their phone number wasn't saved in my new phone. I texted their daughter.<br />
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"baby is coming" </div>
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"our baby?"</div>
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"YES!!"</div>
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"My dad is on his way!"</div>
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I hope her teacher recognizes this moment is important enough to interrupt class. </div>
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I know she was toe tapping nervous anyway!</div>
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Even though she lives and breathes horses she is still crazy about them. I think that's one of the reasons I like her so well. </div>
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and so I watched as this new life entered the world.<br />
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It was interesting, this animal that looked a great deal like a horse, but also like a deer. The amniotic sac clinging to its body, I am going to be completely honest, it was a little bit hard for me to see this obviously mammal creature through the amniotic sac and some remaining fluid. The baby kicking its legs, already so full of life and only half born. Mama is older, she rested and caught her breath. Once the head was free of the sac you could see her features as individual features instead of just a head, her little nose and mouth working to clear fluid. Her eyes closed, fur so wet that they almost blended into her face. Slowly this little creature began to take shape. Wet fur drying, graced by a rare moment of sun. She tried to get up, but being born is hard work. Mama went to her, started cleaning her. I was impressed with how soft her hooves and even her bones appeared. No way she would ever stand on those! but she did, not well, but well enough to get up. I need to go check on her again, not that she needs checking on, her mama has more babies than I do!<br />
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I was snapping pictures, recording moments for my kids to watch when they get home. They have been so excited. Especially MG. I thought about texting photos to everyone I know. Such an exciting thing I was witnessing. I was checking my phone just in case the daughter of the owner texted. I got a text from my sister,<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> "Beautiful!"</span></div>
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And I stopped, had I sent a picture of this new baby and not realized it? To what beauty was she referring?<br />
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Then I remembered, my brother, who sends regular picture updates of his under construction house, had sent a group text of his house earlier in the morning. Except my phone doesn't do group texts so I get random individual responses that come in throughout the day and I have to back track to see what comment fits where.<br />
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She was referring to a house.<br />
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and so my morning of emotional clearing, birth, and new life came to a very huge "AhHah" moment. We have entirely different definitions of beauty. Neither is right, neither is wrong. They are just different. I am different than my family. I need to learn to accept that and embrace it. They may think I am weird, even tell me so. But I need to realize that I define life differently than they do and learn to embrace it. Life is beautiful, its time I soak it all in.The Mean Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10792211369504901991noreply@blogger.com0