Monday, June 8, 2015

Depression - My Battle

Not going to dwell much on this today.  Just wanted to record it for my own purposes.

I battle depression.  I am neither proud nor ashamed of this confession. 

A few of my girlfriends (independent of each other) posted this song recently, as a post divorce anthem.  I listened to it.  I have an amazing marriage, so I couldn't understand why it spoke to me.

Then I realzied the line, "Take back my life" doesn't just apply to the horrors and loss of divorce.

It applies to me.  I am taking my life back from depression.
I am finding new weapons of defense and I will beat this.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

How am I suppose to Know? May I ask?

I admit it,  I judge people, I do, I judge if they are kind and moral.
I also judge the parents of children with a perpetual case of lice.  I will also help you nit pick.

Things I don't judge?  
Your color, socioeconomic status, job, marital status, gender identification,
 religion, or sexual orientation.

This post will address a question I have of the LGBT Community,

How am I suppose to know?

 It is an honest question coming from a boring white girl from small town America.  I have similar questions for other communities.  I am simply trying to learn.  But because topics are so hot and political I don't know who to ask.
 I can't ask my brother in law because HE is still living the 'don't ask, don't tell' option with us.
 I can't ask my older cousin as his heart is so tender I could never risk hurting it by my ignorance.
 I won't ask my younger cousin because he crude and offensive, I want a sincere conversation of mutual respect and learning.  (I stopped trusting his opinion on life when he posted pictures of CuntCakes with the caption LOL.)

Now this same cousin is demanding that people address them with gender neutral pronouns as gender specific pronouns offend them.  That's right people, cuntcakes are okay, but using the term 'he' in reference to a male who may or may not identify as male is offensive.   But I digress, this post is about me learning appropriate respectful terms.

There are physical males/females who identify with the male gender.
There are physical males/females who identify with the female gender.
There are physical males/females who identify with neither gender.

To further complicate things, any of these physical males/females may find themselves:
attracted to their same physical gender and identify as gay or straight
or the opposite physical gender and identify as straight or gay,
or transgender and identify as...?

I am confused!  I don't even know if the above information is correct.  It's been gleaned in snatches and compiled in effort to gain some resemblance of understanding.

There are those in the LGBT community that prefer the 'they, them, their' pronouns, while others prefer the 'Ze' pronoun.  I personally think 'Te' or the Old English 'Thee' make excellent options.

If I use the wrong pronoun I am offensive, but I can't ask because that is rude.  So I ask again...
and furthermore, since I don't know, is there an appropriate way that
 I may ask you for your specific preference?

The LGBT Community is more accepted now than ever before.  Hundreds of years of fighting, they have moved from hidden/non existent, to being killed, to being offended because the general population doesn't use their preferred pronoun.  
I am curious as to why members of this community, a community that is successfully redefining gender, are so worried about fitting into existing vernacular.  Texting and social media invent new words weekly, why don't they? 

Instead of my cousin throwing a temper tantrum
(my cousin's post was basically the 27 yo version of yelling "It's not Fair" because he got the wrong color of lollipop)
They should invest that energy and creativity into creating their own gender neutral jargon and vernacular. 
 Once that is established please publish the results so the rest of us can learn and respect thy culture.  You are a powerful and creative generation. 
Knowledge is Power.
Please use your Power to spread Knowledge.

And one more thing. 
 Please remember that most of us on the 'outside' don't want to offend,
 we simply have never been taught.

This story came to mind as I was typing this.
Two cultures, with gross preconceived notions and judgements, that become a family.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Cows, Horses, and Half Naked Girls

I recently heard a story about a horse.
BONUS it's even a TRUE story.

There was  horse, a jumper, beloved by it's owner.  She was devastated when the horse came up lame, dismissed by the elite jumping community.  This woman loved her horse, they'd been a team for years and so she sought out the best in the field to help her, a skilled farrier who had faith in this team.  He worked with the horse and rider.  The team soon returned to competition and eventually the rider was offered over 6 million dollars for her "lame" jumper.
The offer was declined and the pair are preparing for Rio 2016
 Another less exciting, but just as true story.

My husband gets to herd cattle off the highway on a monthly basis.  Definitely the best use of his time as a Peace Officer.  Cows are always getting out.  It's the second excuse for why we don't have a cow.  The first is cost, the second is, our fencing isn't secure enough.  So we lease our pasture to horses.

Cattle are ALWAYS trying to get out.  It doesn't really matter how much space they have, they press against the fencing, always pushing the boundaries.

Cattle are not easily contained.  Cattle pasture has fence post, 2x4 panel, with a barbed wire at the top and bottom.  They still push against that fence post till it topples and then go wondering aimlessly, inevitably ending up on the nearest highway where they become a half ton liability.

Horses are easily contained.  Horse pasture can be as little as a post and line.  Our neighbor's have race horses.  The top rail of their fence came loose and fell off.  The middle rail was shorter than the horses knee and yet the horse never got out.  It respected that the boundary.  That boundary is where he was placed by his master and where his master returns to provide care, food, and water.

And so it is when teaching our youth the standards God has set in place for their protection.  These boundaries are set, by God, for their own protection and safety.  It being Prom season the passage Genesis 3:21 comes to mind, "The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them."

Clothing was created by God to clothe the naked body, to cover it, to keep it sacred.  God created our body as the temple for our divine Spirit.  The young women, daughter's of a King, God's supreme creation are parading their temples, half naked, in effort to attract the eye of some boy who very likely does not cherish them.  Why do our girls feel the need to degrade themselves in order to attract attention.  Why do our girls not feel precious and cherished enough that their confidence allows them to cover their temple, to keep their body sacred unto themselves until she covenants to cleave unto a son of God who cherishes her as God cherishes her?
    More importantly why are parent's not teaching their daughters to have enough respect for themselves?  These prom photos are posted all over social media with parent's standing next to their half naked daughter, smiling, so happy that they are sending their prized possession off to be valued only for the shortness of her hemline, the deepness of her neck line, the number of cutouts on her back?   These father's need to stand up, be patriarchs, protect their daughter, cherish her, teach her that her value comes from a Divine creation, not from the bling on her chest.

Our daughters need to learn that their very essence is divine.  That they should seek to follow their Master not push the very boundaries He created to keep them safe.  God created women, we are His divine and most valued work.  He also clothed us so that our divinity is not diminished by the natural being.

We need to teach our girls that boundaries are created as a source of safety.  The horse is revered around the world, the cow is only revered in India (where they look half starved).  Please, let us remind our girls that like the majestic horse, there is no need to push the limits created to keep them safe, that respecting them is to respect the innate superiority of our creation. 

Cattle are used primarily as a source of food, when judged they are shaved and posed to flaunt their body so as to receive a good price for their ability to provide a high quality cut of meat.

Horses are prized and valued for their beauty, grace, skill, speed and intelligence.  They play integral roles in history, art, sport, and are idealized as romantic transportation by little girls everywhere.

And so I ask you, 

Is your daughter, sister, niece a creation only to be paraded for her structure, frame, and how she'd taste with a good sauce?  
Or is she a divine creation valued for her innate beauty and goodness?  Prided in her ability to successfully bridge history with her plethora of natural talents?

In sum...
When was the last time you saw a cow in the Olympics?

For your viewing pleasure, a woman who has experienced the success of respecting boundaries.  Laura Sumrall of Texas A&M.