Monday, March 4, 2013

We have Poop!

I am thinking about naming my minivan Bat and my garage Hell,
it would be much more fitting considering the way I tear down my driveway
on my way to the bus stop (late, again).

"This isn't a bathrobe" I said indignantly, "It's a snuggie"

My 8 year old informed me that her nose was so stuffy last night that she filled an entire trash can with snotty tissue.  All I could think was,
"Hallelujah! Someone has finally learned to throw away their own snot rags!"
Today I bribed myself.  "If you get the kitchen clean and the laundry done you can make a yummy treat from your Pinterest board"  And then I sat down to nurse, the adrenaline of the morning rush left, and I realized I had no desire to actually make the cake.
When my baby thinks he is starving and I am not whipping my boob out fast enough he starts to bellow, much like I imagine a 15 pound hippo would bellow (if 15 pound hippos existed), and its funny, so funny in fact that I take my sweet time and chuckle as he bellows at me.
 Me- "Our house is disgusting!" (In my defense we have all been sick for weeks, its always a mess)
Oldest Child starts to laugh. 
"It's not funny, it really is gross"
I brush the dried up rice off my foot by brushing it on my pajama pants.
OC - "It's not funny, but the things you SAY are funny!"
And the favorite child award goes to...
DS6 walks into the room stating that his jeans don't fit.  (The kid won't wear anything but sweats, but these were a great price, so he'll have to suffer through it.) 
"What do you mean they don't fit, they look great!"
"When I squat down like this" he demonstrates, "they bunch out and my boxers show!"
"Yep, they fit just like they should!"
I was PUMPED to find a triple decker Nutter Butter in my Snack Sak today
(I am never going to lose this baby weight!)

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