Friday, December 12, 2014

Judge Not

All 5 kids went to the optometrist last week, packing in all the insurance benefits before the year ends.  MG on Monday, the rest on Friday.  MG ordered a darling pair of very expensive glasses.  I quickly put a stop to that nonsense saying we could easily find an attractive pair of frames for what the insurance covered.  3 times the office assured me that the benefits had changed and we had full coverage.  We ordered the glasses.  I returned a few days later and the middle two kids were picking out frames, I let them pick whatever appealed to them, not worried of cost since it was all covered.  I was then informed they were unsure of my benefits.

I opted to wait and see what the benefits were before ordering 2 more pair.  The kids were sad we weren't getting glasses after all.  They love to read and wanted it to be easier.  I told them the truth like I always do.  We are getting glasses, we are just not ordering them until we know what the cost will be.  No sense spending money if we don't have to, money is tight right now (my kids know this and they know why).

 The optometrist who kept acting like we were BFF's even though we only see him once a year
  blamed the expense of Christmas as to why our finaces were tight. 
He meant it in good spirits but I was furious. 

How dare he imply to my kids that presents under a tree 
were more important than their health and education?  

I know my priorities. My kids are our number one priority.  I have NEVER had a pedicure, my hair is only ever cut and colored by friends in my kitchen, because all the money that many women spend on those services I spend ensuring that my daughter's hair is well cared for, that they have the proper tools they need to embrace the difficult hair they were blessed with.  For him to tell my children otherwise is ridiculous and insulting to my exhaustive efforts to ensure my children always have everything they need while not entrapping my husband and I's future in mountains of debt.  I realize I read too deeply into things, but his assumption hit a chord.

I looked at him and said, "that has nothing to do with this, the glasses issue is entirely about insurance, my children know why finances are tight and it has nothing to do with something as frivolous as Christmas has become."

I was kind but firm in my words, he quickly back peddled and apologized.
  "uh, well you never know"

And that is EXACTLY it, we don't ever know.  We don't know why people act the way they do, we don't understand why they made the decision they did.  We don't know the stresses, the sacrifices, their former hurts or their priorities.  It is high time we start supporting one another, being honest with each other, and  stop making assumptions and tearing one another down. 

The poor eye tech was not trying to cause trouble or raise adrenaline levels, but he was interjecting himself in a situation in which he did not belong.

We do not know, and until we do, we can not assume or judge.

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