Sunday, August 16, 2015

Of Excuses, Justifications, Explanations, and Desire for Approval

Come join my family as they try a new food.  You will quickly discover that the more the kids talk about LOVING the new food the less they actually like it.  In an effort to hide their disdain they talk about how wonderful it is.  I think they just don't want to offend.

After the 5th time of being told how yummy something is I transport the item to the trash to the relief of my darlings.  If they actually like it their mouths will be so full of it that they can't talk.

I have noticed as of late that similar is true of people making bad decisions.

If you make a decision for the right reason, you won't have any need to justify or explain why you chose what you chose. You should be able to to articulate WHY you acted the way you acted, but you should not feel compelled to justify that to anyone other than yourself (and your parents if you still live at home).

Have you noticed when a person is making a bad decision, or a neutral decision for the wrong reason that they will go on and on about why they are doing that, or why it's ok in this situation, and how they JUST DON'T CARE what others think?

    "I decided to do this and I don't care what others think, because reasons A-Z!!"

all the while they justify and explain away the decision I am thinking, "Um, I don't care, you can do what ya want" and they just keep on justifying and I just start laughing on the inside because if they truly don't care, why are they justifying their decision to me?  to ME??? who has absolutely no authority over their life.  If they don't care why are they so eager to earn my approval?


"It's okay for Mormon's to be addicted to caffeine because caffeine isn't specifically named in the Word of Wisdom, and I only drink like 4 a week, so I'm not really addicted, I mean I just drink it for migraines so its medicinal so its okay."

"My counselor said it was okay that I divorced my spouse and abandoned left my kids because I have the right to be happy and to pursue my own goals and happiness in life and I am a strong person and I have a lot more to contribute to life, I have talents I want to develop and I am still a good person, its not like I left them for a lover, or alcohol, and I pay child support so its okay that I'm not there to tuck my kids in at night"

"I know my outfit isn't really appropriate for the dress code, but my boobs and butt are covered, as long as I hold my skirt when I lean over, and its like really hot and the sweat makes my clothes stick to me and I don't care what people think, I am proud of my choices to do whats right for my comfort, and I am not even going to pretend to be ashamed"

"Yah, so I got drunk, but its totally cool because I am 18 and I made sure my boyfriend stayed sober so he would make sure I didn't choke if I puked, and I am a good kid, I have NEVER ever done anything rebellious in my life and I just wanted to live a little and I didn't drive, so its okay"

"I am gonna stay here and go to community college because I can live at home and save money and I really like my job and sure I got a great scholarship to an amazing school, but this unaccredited community college is a good school too, and a degree is a degree, and ...." when the sad reality is they are scared to move away from home. 

SO to my children and the 3 other people that might actually read this post,

    When making a decision, if that decision can not stand on its own, I say, think again.

     If you do not know why you made a decision, I say, think again.

    If you make a choice, make it with knowledge, not fear.

     If you can not stand firm in your choice, aloof from naysayers, I say, think again.

We are given minds, use them.
We are given will, stand strong.
We are given agency, be wise.

PS... That first example is me!

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