Tuesday, July 23, 2013

10 Commandments of the SAHM

1. Thou shalt not disclose nor judge a fellow mother for anything worn to the bus stop.

2. Thou shalt avert thine eyes as thy neighbor make a braless bouncing dash to beat the trash truck to the curb.

3. Thou shalt give freely and receive generously diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes if necessary to any fellow mother who finds herself in a 'crappy situation'.

4. Thou shalt cut thyself some slack if the Marinara Sauce on tonight's spaghetti dinner doubles as the vegetable/fruit serving.

5. Thou shalt freely share thy chocolate stash with any mother having a breakdown, even thy frenemies.

6. Calories consumed during thy husband's overtime shall not count against thy diet.

7. Thou shalt adopt a 'village to raise a child' approach at any event involving large crowds, vehicles, or water.

8. Thou shalt sacrifice thy social life if thy child has contagious blisters, vomit, diarrhea, pink eye, or lice.  Running noses are socially expected part of childhood.

9. Thou shalt strive to smile and nod when offered asinine advice.

10. Thou shalt freely accept service without obligation to thank them with a plate of cookies.


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