Thursday, October 8, 2015

Race or Culture

I love when TK's little girlfriends come for playdates, having girl conversation is a welcome change.
But yesterday as we taxi'd around this sweet little girl told me,

 "You look like my mom!"

and I don't so I asked, "Oh, because we have the same color hair?"

"No, same color skin."

and I was befuddled, because while I have many of times noticed her beautiful dark smooth skin and silky black hair, it never dawned on me that she wasn't a white girl like me.

Her dad is some conglomerate of dark complected races, Asian, Polynesian, African, some Caucasian, not really sure, never ever mattered.

 For the first time since knowing her family (since before her birth) I realized they were considered a biracial family.  I'd never noticed because they were just another family, just like ours, working hard, raising good kids, striving towards the American Dream.

I'm not one of those people who claim to be color blind.  I noticed he wasn't white, I noticed that when our kids swim together mine get sunblock every 80 minutes and their kids are like, whats sun block?

We have have co-worker, he's black (our racial demographic lacks diversity), grew up in LA, he can never remember my first name so he calls me Homegirl.  The man has soul, you can tell by the way he walks and talks.  He is my black friend, his description not mine, I call him Homeboy and we laugh.

And so I had this thought.  Maybe its not Race that causes all the problems and wars and violence and hate.  Maybe its culture.

Homeboy's race is very obvious to me because he lives the culture stereo typical to his race.
Friends dad's race has never even been conscience to me because he lives the same boring life style we live.

Neither Homeboy's culture nor the culture collectively lived by my family and our friends is superior, it just creates differences, but no one is defensive or insecure of those differences so no problems arise.  We all stand around the same BBQ with a Coke or Beer, whatever our choice, and laugh about life and good food.

It's when the cultures become so enmeshed into a community that it breeds oneness of thought, insecurieties, envy, defensivness, and hate that it becomes a problem.

 I feel its important to focus on the real issue here. People are the problem, regardless of color, gender, or socio economic status.  Aholes and Kindness do no discriminate, you can find them everywhere.

 Admittedly I am a white girl from a small white town, and probably have no business even talking about this subject, but I've learned, and I want to remember this.

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