The Meddling Mother in Law

People meet my mother in law and can't figure out why it is that I don't like her.  It's simple, she is an all about appearances type of gal.  I am not. 
 (well that and the fact that she treats me like an unwanted houseguest,  13 years people, not planning on ditching out anytime soon)

She can become best friends with a perfect stranger, unless that stranger is someone she gave birth to.
She can't figure out why she doesn't have a relationship with any of her children, and one day I will tell her, it's because she never bothered to form one with them when they were kids.

My husband turned out great, because at age 12 he realized he was on his own and never went to his parents for anything...ever again.

She buys things for my kids and does all this lip service about how much she misses them, but never bothers to spend much time with them when they come for a visit.  When I drag my kids to her place she is non stop about needing to pick up their toys.

She Says  "You can't get the cars out until you have picked up the blocks"

Toddler hears  "You can't get the cars out until you have picked up the road you just built"

She wonders why Toddler is staring at her like he doesn't understand

when in reality he is looking at her wondering how anyone can be so stupid.

Darling Niece "Grandma, can we scrap book with you?"
Grandma "No, its too messy"
Me ...Glad we all drove 6 hours to watch Netflix... (in my head of course)

So tell me, what does your MIL (or FIL) do that drives you crazy?

Here are a few more from me:

1. Says she is making a Christening gown for my baby, shows up with nothing and runs to Wal-Mart to find something.  3 times she does this, so with #4 she shows up with something nice, not cute or handmade, but nice and acts all hurt (and surprised) that I had something else picked out, I caved and he wore ugly outfit, #5 I said screw you and made a darling outfit for MY baby (it helps that she was not able to make it to his Christening)!  Keep in mind she only buys things for my kids on special occasions so she can take credit for any compliments.

  

2. Calls the hospital during my blood transfusion to ask if she can make my bed. (PS she invited herself to come 'help' while I was in Hospital, my sister had everything under control)

3. Throws a fit and refuses to talk to me for a year demanding that my hubby make me apologize for telling her not to kiss my toddler while she had a nasty cold sore.

4.  Decided to forgive me for above event when my parents divorced, after all, she is a true Christian and should have pity for those less fortunate in appearing to have a perfect family.

So do share, I love a good meddling Mother in Law story.