When I was a little girl I remember asking my parents who they loved more, me or each other. The answer was always each other, then me and my siblings tied for second. I was offended. They should love each other and their kids ALL equally. We are, after all, a FAMILY!
(Of course now I am #1 on my Mom's list and I am okay with that, I am even enjoying it.)
Growing up our parents and siblings are our closest family, they are who we do everything with and miss them when we are away from them for long periods of time (or at least this is how it should be).
Then we become adults (so fun, right?) marry (or establish a partnership) and have a family of our own. Now a-days I can go months without seeing and weeks without even talking to my family of origin and that's okay, its just life.
My husband and kids are my EVERYTHING, I miss my hubby when he is at work and start missing my kids about 3 hours into the school day. Yes I love my hubby more and my kids know this. As a team hubby and I invest our all into our children. We forsake toys, travel, fancy date nights, even trips to the movie theater, all for our children. The number one selling feature on both or our vehicles was number of seat belts. My hair has been professionally styled four times in my life, because by the time I buy the hair product my girls need there isn't money left in the budget for my hair (I don't have mean girls in my life that will tease about a bad hair day). Our weekends and evenings are filled with music lessons and little league games. When asked by coworkers what my hubby does for a hobby he responds, "my family is my hobby" and he means it. Most of them spend their days off work fishing, hunting, sleeping in, playing xbox, etc. because their wife is at work and if they have kids they are at school or daycare (there is a very high divorce rate in his line of work, wonder why?). Hubby's day's off are filled with dishes, bedtimes, dinner making, homework helping, and he never complains.
(because the sooner the work gets done the sooner we can all go to bed *winkwink*)We are a team in raising 5 amazing children. God blessed us with them and we take that trust very seriously.
But then our kids grow up. #1 is sneaking into adolescence, Hubby doesn't like it, I wouldn't either except I love her company! She will be gone in 6 1/2 years. We will be empty nesters when we are only 50.
And as Hubby and I discussed this I realized something. Our entire life's work will leave us. Depressing thought. For 30 years we will pour our entire existence into these darlings and then they just up and leave.
And they probably won't even miss us that much.
They will start a family of their own and that family will be their Everything.
And my Hubby and I will be left alone. (except when we are busy earning Grandparents of the year!)
That is the way it should be. If they don't leave, if they don't move forward, then we, as parents, have failed. Only in letting our pride and joy, our life's work go, can we be successful.
We let them grow, let them live, let them leave. Because we know how happy growing, living, leaving made us.
Our kids are on borrowed time, we must savor it.
Our marriage is ours, we must nurture it.