Monday, March 9, 2015

Vomit followed by Chocolate

....and there may have been a bleach step in between.

I am raising my kids to be independent little creatures, so its not often that all 5 kids need me at the exact same time.  In fact I can only remember a few times it has happened and it has always involved vomit.
About an hour ago my darling and surprisingly articulate 2 year old walked up to me, took my hand and calmly said, "Mama, I need you now."  He leads me across the kitchen to the pantry where he points to the floor and says, "I throwed up"  I start to inquire after his well being and he looks at me like I am a bit behind schedule and says, "we need to clean it up" complete with little hand motions.

I start to clean it up and he crouches down beside me to help, I tell him he doesn't have to help clean his own puke,
he accepts my offer and instead pops a chocolate chip into his mouth.
A chocolate chip that was inches from his vomit pile.
I realize that its his vomit and therefore any contaminated splatter upon that chocolate chip was already in his little body but the idea was still a little gross.  It also offered a clue as to what he was doing in the pantry anyway.  The vomit was adjacent to a step stool that had been slid just under the tub of chocolate chips.  He shamelessly admitted my conclusions were accurate.

He then decided that his tummy needed apple juice and not the kind in a box, he gestured to the JackLalane.
MG had already heated some leftovers, verifying the age of said leftovers before ingesting them.
Then the middle 3 decided they were hungry as well.  I looked at the clock to determine the source of this desperation, it was 7:30!!! and I hadn't actually fed them was a fend for yourself kind of day.
 BG also needed help with her homework, so I am cleaning the kitchen slightly slower than the kids are messing it, reheating dinners, juicing apples, mopping puke, and scrubbing my hands raw in the process in an attempt at the impossible (stopping the pukes before the pukes stop the entire family).

The entire time TL was at my feet reminding me that his tummy needed juice, he actually says, "my tummy needs apple juice", and TK was telling me that he just peed on the carpet (which he has NEVER done), and BG is reminding me that her homework is due tomorrow, and PB is complaining that he didn't like dinner that much the first time around.  And I am wondering what life would be like with a full time cook/housekeeper.

It's times like these that I praise Chris and Martin Kratt for appealing to the entire family.

I plopped them all in front of Wild Kratts, justifying that BG's homework was about  Food Chains, and instructed them to watch that episode while I made dinners.

Once they were all fed and happy I sat down with my pot of Chocolate No Bake Cookies for some breathing time.  It's becoming a bad habit.  But its wheat and egg free and still tastes yummy.  Very few foods can make that claim.

Doesn't that make y'all want to hurry and have 5 kids of your very own?


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